CT Scan and Biopsy

Posted on June 30, 2011 by artistecreative

This morning, I had my appointment to see the radiologist to have a CT-scan and biopsy done for my neck. I’ve been waiting for this moment and I can’t wait to get the result. Maybe it is one more thing to add to my plate. I hope not…

They weighed me and I lost 1.5 pounds since a week. Not good! Especially I am eating like an ogre. I will try eating French fries (lots of them!) before my next week’s appointment. I came home with many Band-aids and a bracelet (one more to add to my ever-growing collection). While the doctor couldn’t feel the lymph node by hand, the radiologist was able to locate it through the ultrasound.

I will keep you updated what is in store about this CT scan. That would really , really suck to go back to square one with a new cancer. These past weeks, I’ve been feeling energized and my appetite really came back. I think I suffered enough; it is somebody else’s turn to have health problems at this point…

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Updates on PET scan

Posted on June 25, 2011 by artistecreative

Well, the news didn’t end up being as optimistic as it was for February’s scan. I have a lot of inflammation and the radiologists couldn’t tell if there are nodes affected by cancer. I have also this darn spot in my neck. It was present in September and wasn’t there in February. I am really nervous about that. It can be just an inflamed node due to the intestine ulcer or it could be a new cancer. I’d love to have a new PET scan done when the ulcer is under control. I think this last PET scan has a lot of anomalies and no one can say for sure if I am fine or not.

So, it caused me to be sleepless for many nights. I even canceled a trip to have the node checked next week (this coming week). I will have a CT scan and biopsy done in my neck and they can see if it is cancer. I am crossing my fingers and toes that it is not.

Some good news overall: I am completely off medication now (I weaned myself from the nausea night pill), have gained 3 pounds in the past 2 weeks and have a lot of energy. However, I can’t be fooled by this energy. I tried to run several errands yesterday and was painfully reminded that I still have the ulcer. As soon as I try to have a little stress in my life, the sharp pain is coming on the left of my belly button.

If I am up to, I might try a 15 to 20 minutes gym session Monday morning. This is my goal but who knows, it might not work.

Another good news: I was able to introduce new food into my diet! Yeah! Yesterday, for the first time in 9 months, I baked dessert. I made blueberry-apple bran muffins. I ate a few since then and my body is reacting normally. This is the very first dessert I’ve been having since this ordeal started. I start feeling like a normal person again. :-)

I made a few promises to God if I am completely cured from cancer and we will see if this happens. Now that I’ve done my battle, it is up to the big guy up there to decide if I am good to move on with my life. I hope  this is his final decision.

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PET scan time!!!

Posted on June 13, 2011 by artistecreative

I haven’t post regularly and I can only blame myself. I’ve been busy with an upcoming wedding. I can’t wait this next weekend is over. Of course, at the last minute (today), I remembered that it is Father’s Day on Sunday and our wedding anniversary on Monday. So, instead of being in town for 2 hours, I was there for 5 hours. I am not going anywhere for the rest of the day. Promise!

Hopefully, I will sleep well tonight because, once again, it is PET scan day tomorrow. Oh boy! My appointment is scheduled at 3 PM, meaning I will be starving all day. I have to bring the kids to the dentist mid-day and the dentist office is right next to a delicious pizza place. I’ll have to ward off the good smell…

So, I am asking anyone who read this blog to have a prayer for me. I need this PET scan to be clear. This is my hope to a better and happier life. I will come home with a CD, probably panicking what is the result. And I will have to wait two days to get the final word.

Darn! I really hate PET scan moment! A friend of mine, also a cancer survivor, said that one day, I will see the PET scan as a drag and not an anxiety moment. I hope he is right.

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Now, it is an ulcer apparently!

Posted on June 10, 2011 by artistecreative

I haven’t post for a while and it is not because I was doing worst or was dying. I have been having this mysterious stomach cramp that comes and goes. After stomping my feet a few times and complained, and complained, I was finally sent to a gastroenterologist, Dr. Bennett, yesterday. Since the very beginning, I was blaming the Gemzar drug (one of the two chemo drugs I received during my last treatment) to be the cause of my pain. For the past 1.5 months, I thought I kept having colitis recurrence. A small exam and talk with an expert now put the light where the problem is.

While Dr. Bennett is cautious and want to wait for the PET scan result, he believes I simply have a small intestine ulcer. He wasn’t able to feel any tumor by touching me. But there is definitely soreness on the left side of the belly button. Ironically, this is the area where I had the sick lymph node. I think the mix of 6 weeks of radiation combined by chemo (Gemzar) make it obvious to him that the ulcer has been happening in that area. Since the very beginning of my pain, I always told my chemo doctor that Gemzar was the cause of this ailment and she kept brushing me aside denying it. I outsmarted her and I knew all along I was right.

Now, how do I get rid of it? Well, first, I have to be patient. I have been scheduled for a PET scan (next Tuesday) and according to the result, there are a few options. If the PET scan shows there is no cancer there, this is good, really good. They might do some kind of batrium test (drinking an awful liquid) and doing more X-rays. I might be put on medication for a while. At the worst, I might have to go under the scalpel another time. I’ve seen images and they were able to cure the ulcer that way. I asked the doctor how long I should expect the ulcer to completely disappear and he said that by September, I will be totally cured.

Yeah, it is a long time but I feel happy. At least, I have something to look forward.

Meanwhile, Dr. Bennett ordered blood and stool tests to rule out some other illnesses. And the worst wait for me: I am waiting for the PET scan and won’t sleep tight until I have the result.

Wish me luck, please!

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Off to another specialist…

Posted on May 28, 2011 by artistecreative

Well, I didn’t think of this one. I was at my chemo office two days ago and complained about the intestine pain. The recent stool test didn’t show any sign of colitis. I asked to have a colonoscopy but the doctor suggested to see a gastroenterologist. I am excited to see this specialist because, frankly, I believe my chemo MD doesn’t have a clue how to cure my ailment. She is a young doctor, out of Stanford, and admitted I am her first colitis case. Great! I am always a unique case everywhere I go with my cancer…

My chemo MD is worried about my recent weight loss. I am now at 111 pounds, just one pound heavier than my beloved Golden Retriever. I literally float in clothing items. With this God awful diet (no sweet, no-dairy, gluten-free, no alcohol, no spice), what can you eat? Literally nothing! I bought a bunch of items at Whole Foods and most of the frozen stuff taste like cardboard box. Last night, I had a no-dairy, gluten-free cheeseburger and it was revolting. I was exciting to eat a bunch of fries to cover the awful taste but fire caught in the hot oil pot and ruined this idea. I went to bed hungry instead.

I made sure before 4:30 PM came him yesterday that I called the gastroenterologist. Well, good thing I am not dying! They wanted to give me a June 30th appointment. What the hell? I told the lady it is a month away. She successfully squeezed me on June 9th. Meanwhile, what will I do with the pain? My antibiotics are gone and I am relying solely on the Vitamin Center guy with his pills and my beloved acupuncturist.

May God help me to cure this ailment at this point…

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It is back again… unfortunately!

Posted on May 23, 2011 by artistecreative

Well, I thought I was cured last week but I was wrong. After two long weeks on being on the colitis (C Difficile) medication, the illness came back. Just the cramps but no diarrhea. I am back to the acupuncturist as well as on the antibiotics. I visited a vitamin store this morning and have to take some other pills (L-Glucamine and Probiotic) twice a days but on empty stomach. Darn!

I was told to continue my diet dairy-free, spice-free and also to not eat anything with gluten. It makes eating very difficult. I have to rest a lot so basically, after eating, I just go lay down and wait the digestion goes through. Just to facilitate my life, I am contemplating to eat twice a day only. I can’t spend the whole day laying in bed…

I am hoping to be fine by mid-June but who knows…

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C Difficile

Posted on May 7, 2011 by artistecreative

It has been a while since I blogged and it wasn’t intentional. I feel I have gone through hell (one more time) and now, I am slowly emerging. Only two weeks away from the official end of my chemotherapy treatment, I am slowly recovering from one more illness (did I need that at this point).

A week ago, I was attacked by strong abdominal cramps. It has been weeks that I was bearing some mild pains but my doctor didn’t feel concerned. My bowel movements were sometimes partly diarrhea but I blamed the chemo drugs. However, after 12 hours of increasing pain a week ago, I started wondering if I had twisted intestine or even partly blocked.

Sunday morning, I called my radiologist oncologist and mentioned my symptoms. The only comfortable position I had was laying down with a hot pad on my abdomen. She urged me to go to the hospital. After being admitted and several tests later (X-rays, CT-scan, ultrasound), they ruled out ovarian problem, burst/twisted/blocked intestine. I was then asked to offer a stool sample.

Let me tell you that I was not mentally prepared to get the diagnosis: I was told that I was a C difficile bacteria victim. Mind you, six years ago, this bacteria made the headline and was proven deadly to some of its victims. For the first time since I am a cancer-patient, I thought I was going to die. Perhaps, I got lucky in my bad luck for showing up to the hospital before it was too late and medicine has evolved and they now have antibiotics to kill the bacteria. I was told to not worry.

I expected to be back home at the latest for dinner time on Sunday. They kept me until Tuesday. I became really weak and was kept away from other patients. Visitors/nurses/doctors were wearing nuclear garb to step in my room. Only the janitor showed up with his mop just wearing street clothes (perhaps he has a super immune system).

Before being released, I was given two blood transfusion because the bacteria had made my red cells too low. What a freaking nightmare!

I am back home now and happily recovering. I would not returned a week back for all the money in this world!

Today, when I woke up, I realized that in two weeks from now, I will get my last booster shot and the hell will be (hopefully!) over for me. There won’t be anymore chemotherapy.

I wish I could fast-forward in time and will cherish May 21st for the rest of my life.

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Welcome to Cycle 3!

Posted on April 22, 2011 by artistecreative

Here we go again! The beginning of the third cycle! The worst is yet to come. The long treatment is set for next week, with the booster shot as a bonus if you call within the next 20 minutes!

I read for a while a book given to me by a friend who love the paranormal and talking to dead people. I enjoy reading it because I dream so much of the dead that it is just the perfect timing to read about this sort of subject. I didn’t read too much because two fellow patients showed up and chatted. One was actually super lonely and was glad to hear that things are not the greatest at home and that I was older than he thought. Hopefully, he  won’t hope for any kind of romantic story here.

The other fellow showed up with his wife and after she left for some errands, he confides that she is working full-time and take leaves of absence to be with her husband all the way along. Wow! I told this kind that he has a keeper! My husband never came once to my treatment (too busy with work or other interests). I looked at the other fellow and told him that we are just born to be unlucky in love.

We talked for a long time about this subject. I told them my frustrations to be married to a guy who won’t be supportive through my journey against cancer. I told them that my parents have been there for each other (always) and are still supporting each other. Just this week, my dad had a colonoscopy. My mom canceled her bowling to be with my dad. And my dad would have done the same for her. Why all marriages are not working this way? Why am I so unlucky?

Hopefully, in my next life, I won’t be married to a prince charming but a man who will hold my hand in good and bad times.

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One month to go!!!

Posted on April 21, 2011 by artistecreative

Today is April 21st and in one month, I will be done my chemo (hopefully, forever!). I am sooo looking forward to that day. Meanwhile, a bit of my health news: I visited my chemo doctor today. I lost 2 pounds since 2 weeks. My red cell count is stable but still a little below than the normal count. The biggest news is the result of the booster shot: I have to admit that after this horrible weekend spent laying in bed after the shot, I had very little faith it was working. Well, I was dead wrong…

On day one of my very first chemo treatment, back in November, my white cell count was 6.2. Two weeks ago, it was as low as 1.5. To be normal, a person should be between 2 and 4, but can be much higher. Today, I am at 8.6! Can you believe it? I can’t myself! It is a miracle.

This means there will be two more booster shots (boo hoo!) and the doctor decided to increase the level of Gemzar I will get tomorrow. Great! And I thought I could breeze through this treatment tomorrow… not!

My goal will be to remain positive for this month and cross my fingers for both the PAP test in May and the PET scan in June. We are shooting to have this latter test on June 13th or around that date.

Wouldn’t it be great if everything looks normal and I can have a lovely summer, recovering under the sun? I feel it is not too much to ask in the circumstances.

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5 Years already!

Posted on April 16, 2011 by artistecreative

Today marks the fifth year anniversary that I was diagnosed with an abnormal PAP test and had pre-cancerous cells. The beginning of a ride of hell. Five years already and I am still not cured! It has been a very emotional week for me as it is hard to understand and accept that for the past five years, no matter how many surgeries, tests, doctor visits I had, I am still considered sick and need treatments.

Why does this black cloud is always over my head? What did I do to deserve such long illness? I would understand if I would have taken a year off from visiting the doctor and taking care of the problem…

I really need some good news now. I have 5 more weeks in chemo to go. a PAP test in a month exactly and a PET scan in 1.5 months.

God, if you don’t want two big black eyes in your face the day I will pass away, you better get off your butt and cure me. I’ve paid my due for many years to come. Don’t you get it? Are you deaf?

I am simply tired to be sick…

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